I want a lifetime full of surprises, a future full of rainbows, unicorns to believe in. Yes, this all may be unreal, but being with you is even more unreal. Just knowing that I have you is amazing…because it doesn’t feel like any of this is real. 

Knowing that I could ever love someone as much as I loved you.. unbelievable. 

Having someone like you by my side sometimes… indescribable. 

I love you. Is that simple enough? 

You may not be there all the time to support me, to pick me back up, to tell me everything is going to be ok, to show me the right path to take, to disagree with me when i’m being oblivious, to shake the stress off so I can regenerate, to hug me when I need comforting, to kiss me good night when I’ve had a long day…

…but I know that you love me in the end, no matter what’s happening. You will always love me for me, and no one can replace that. 

Trust is hard to rebuild. I’m trying though, I’m trying really hard to not let little things get in the way… I may over think all the day, may hope the rain comes down more often to let it out by myself…but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I may seem like I’m closer to some friends then I should be, but I keep my distance and make sure they know that there will always be only one guy on my mind and that’s you. 

I may not be the perfect girlfriend at all, and you may not be the ideal boyfriend I wish I had beside me all the time…but we’ll work this through won’t we? Things will work out won’t they? We won’t drift apart because of the distance and time will we? 

…I’m scared of way too many answers. 

For all those times I laughed to the point where I cried, all because of you..it turns out none of that mattered. It didn’t matter how many times I was lovestruck because of you. It didn’t matter how many times you lied to me. It didn’t matter how much time we spend with each other anymore….

None of that matters.

No matter how many tears I have, they dry up, they get wiped away. I don’t know why I let myself get so attached. It was my responsibility. In your head, in this crucial way, I’ll be that someone next to you and play myself again. I could listen to each lie like a fairytale. We could be like a dream, one day we’re like romeo and juliet, the other day, just sleeping beauty and prince charming.

And in the end, my tears could be my oldest friend, the only reality i have.

You may walk away each time the sun goes down, but will you still love me tomorrow?

I can’t determine what exactly I want right now.. maybe it is us but maybe it’s not… when I do, I will tell you. I promise you that…because when I finally realize that you are the one, I will never let you go..

And I know our day will come, just not right now. 

The world is an amazing place to live in.. who knows what comes next.

I’d hate to turn up out of the blue because I couldn’t fight it. I just wanted to remind you that it’s not over yet.

I still remember when you said that nothing else matters as long as we had each other.

Never would I find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you. Don’t forget me, I remember all of it even if its just memories.

Sometimes it hurts but you can’t help it.

Happy birthday, if only you knew and was willing to face it then maybe things would be a lot easier.